The Friend Who Demands Obedience

Technology Demands Loyalty. We Never Ask Why.

In 1992, Neil Postman wrote that technology is “the kind of friend that asks for trust and obedience, which most people are inclined to give because its gifts are truly bountiful” (From Neil Postman’s Technopoly: The Surrender of Culture to Technology [1992], p. 14).

He was right. Except now, thirty years later, we don’t even notice we’re obeying anymore.

-|- Field Notes -|-

Technology made us a promise: life would be easier, cleaner, longer. And it delivered. Spectacularly. So when it asks for more (more attention, more data, more control over how we work and communicate and move through the world) we give it. Not because we’ve weighed the costs, but because the gifts have been so good that questioning them feels ungrateful.

This is what Postman saw coming. Not that technology would fail us, but that it would succeed so completely we’d stop examining what it takes in return. We’d mistake convenience for inevitability. We’d confuse the fact that something makes life easier with the idea that it makes life better.

The problem isn’t that we use technology, it’s that that we’ve stopped asking whether the trade is worth it. We’ve stopped noticing that every technological “solution” is also a claim about what matters and what doesn’t. Speed matters more than reflection and efficiency matters more than encounter.

And because technology has been with us so long, and is woven so deeply into how we live, we don’t see it as something separate from culture anymore. We see it as culture itself. Which means we don’t question it any more than we question breathing.

And for someone like me? Someone for whom so much of my personal and professional life is defined by the cultural of technology, it’s overwhelming and very sobering to realize how much my core identity is stitched to modern technology. I simultaneously love and loathe it. And if I’m being honest … truly honest … I love it far more than loathe it.

But here’s what makes this particularly dangerous: technology doesn’t just change what we do. It changes how we think, what we value, and what we believe makes life worth living. It’s not neutral, and it never was, and when we treat and accept every update, every automation, every frictionless interface without asking what we’re giving up, are are not adapting, we’re surrendering to a not-neutral agent that has ultimate control over us and our actions.

Postman called this Technopoly: a culture that believes technology is the solution to all human problems, and that any problem unsolvable by technology isn’t a real problem at all. It sounds familiar because it is. He was spot on.

I don’t think we’re powerless here. But I do think we’ve become passive. We’ve accepted the idea that technological change is inevitable, which means we’ve stopped believing we have any say in how it shapes our lives. We’ve confused what’s possible with what’s desirable. And we’ve forgotten that the most important question isn’t “Can we?” but “Should we?”

So what does resistance look like? It’s not absolute rejection, nor is it refusal. Resistance is rooted in examination and asking what the trade actually is before and as we make it. For me, it’s a system that often chooses friction when it matters and when I know it keeps me grounded and in control. I work hard to protect the spaces and practices that make me human, us human, even when they’re inefficient or involve additional steps to completion. In fact, it’s often when they’re especially inefficient that I know my resistance gains are being made.

Because if we don’t, technology will keep optimizing our lives right up until there’s nothing left worth living for and we are nothing but the last line of executable code for a program that was written long before we even knew we were part of the equation.

-|- Three things worth your time -|-

• Your morning routine: Notice how many of your first actions are dictated by technological prompts rather than your own intention. What would it feel like to choose differently?

• One “upgrade” you resented: Think about a time technology forced you to adapt to a new interface or system. What did you lose in that transition that nobody acknowledged?

• Postman’s test: Ask yourself: What problem is this technology solving? And is that a problem I actually have, or one the technology created?

-|- Keep Evolving -|-

What’s one piece of technology you’re loyal to not because it makes your life better, but because you can’t imagine life without it anymore? And how has your relationship to it evolved over time?

A video version of this essay (with additional commentary) will be posted to YouTube along with the companion podcast episode tomorrow. If you prefer watching or listening to reading, you’ll find both on YouTube and wherever you get podcasts. Same ideas, different format — pick what works for you. If it were me, I’d pick all three.

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